HOW TO GET THROUGH YOUR DIVORCE
Divorce can be a difficult process that takes months to finalize. With this in mind, you need to take steps to ensure the health of yourself and your family throughout the entire process. Of course, when we talk about health, we are referring to your overall mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Divorce can be a draining and emotional process, which means that there could be damage to you and your loved ones. For instance, you could suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. In this list, we have devised tips to stay positive and confident about what you are going through. We understand divorce can be hard, but taking the appropriate steps to ensure it doesn’t cause you or your family harm is important.
Listed below are 10 tips for getting through your divorce.
1. GET A THERAPIST
Whether you believe that a therapist can help you or not, going to a therapist can be good for you. Sometimes, all you need is someone to talk to and confide in to get through your divorce. Though maybe you won’t feel a breakthrough at first, talking about how you feel about your divorce can lighten the weight on your shoulders. And, talking to a therapist can also help you sort through your feelings of guilt, betrayal, and loss; all of which can be toxic feelings that can diminish your self-esteem and belief that you can get through this difficult time.
2. SELF-CARE IS KEY
Self-care is monumentally important for you. Despite the idea that self-care might be frivolous and self-indulgent, when you are going through a divorce you need to focus on yourself. Many married couples struggle for years before ultimately deciding they are better apart. However, in this time to make a final decision, both spouses can be absorbed by figuring out ways to make the other person happy. Because so many couples are swept up in the unhappiness of their marriage, they neglect themselves and their own needs. Self-care is a method to give yourself the love and happiness you deserve.
What does self-care look like?
Self-care is anything that you enjoy doing. For instance, if you enjoy reading a book, riding a bike, or even going out for a girls night, you should do it. It is important that you enjoy yourself as much as possible. This not only will give you a greater sense of happiness but it will remind you about what is important — your happiness.
3. GET SUPPORT FROM PEOPLE AROUND YOU
When you get a divorce, it can feel as if you are alone. The process of divorce can be nerve-racking a cause you a lot of anxiety. But, with loved ones around you, you can feel more at ease throughout the process. It is important to remember that this “support” can come from anyone, in many different ways. For instance, your family members can offer you support by helping you through the process of divorce and helping out with your children. However, support can also come in smaller ways as well. For instance, a friend could wish you the best and become a trusted confidant. Gaining support from the people around you is the best way to make sure you don’t isolate yourself. When you have feelings of doubt, angst, and loneliness, it is easy to push others away.
You might think, “I am a mess, why would I drag others into my problems?”
But, the contrary is true. Those who love you will offer you support in your hour of need. With their love and friendship, you can have the strength to meet your challenges with confidence.
4. BE A ROLE MODEL TO YOUR KIDS
It may be easy to lose control when you are under stress. But it is important, as a parent, to try to stay in control of your emotions. For instance, the process of divorce can make you feel mistreated and angry. But even though you feel this way, you have to make sure that your children aren’t affected by your anger. Many times spouses can get angry, break things, and even talk bad about the other spouse to their kids. Though it may feel good to tell your children how you are feeling, making them question how good their parents actually are can be damaging. When you tell your children how flawed their parents are, you are crumbling their opinion of the two people they have looked up to their whole lives. Because of this, you need to be wary about how much you tell your kids, especially during your divorce.
5. GET YOUR FINANCES IN ORDER
Once you are certain that divorce is your only option to be happy, you need to start thinking about how you are going to be independent without your husband. For one, you will need to get your finances in order to see how you can become self-sufficient. How?
You start by making copies of all your financial documents. Stereotypically, women have less access to family financial information than their husbands. That being said, it may take you quite a bit of time to collect all the financial documents that you need.
6. DON’T ASK FOR THE HOUSE IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT
In many divorce cases, spouses will often fight over who has ownership of the house. Your home is a place of comfort and familiarity, and in divorce, nothing feels comfortable or familiar. Because of this, spouses cling to the home that they have bonded to and become determined to make sure the other spouse doesn’t get it. In a way, the rights to the family home become a type of twisted trophy in divorce cases. But, it is important not to fight over a home you cannot afford. Many times, women will get the house, only to find out that they cannot afford the mortgage payments on the house. After their divorce, their single income is not enough to support their home, which means they will have to sell it anyway.
7. DECIDE ON A CUSTODY AGREEMENT THAT IS RIGHT
Your divorce case will determine the final ruling on child custody, however, it is still a good idea to think about how you would like the outcome to be. When thinking about the custody of your child, you need to think about what is best for them. Even though you might not love your ex-spouse anymore, your children most likely do. Taking about a parent from them is depriving them of your interests instead of theirs. Instead of doing good for your kids, you are doing them more harm and they might resent you later in their lives.
When deciding what custody agreement is best, you will want to choose one that is even and fair. Having a custody agreement that allows both parents to share their kids is often better for everyone involved.
If you are going through a divorce, you will need expert representation. Contact Women and Children’s Law Center today if you would like legal counsel from experienced divorce lawyers. Together, you and your Oklahoma City divorce attorney can determine what divorce agreement is best for you and your family moving forward. Don’t brave your divorce alone, get support at the Women and Children’s Law Center!