HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN DIFFICULT NEWS
Unfortunately, telling your kids that you are getting a divorce is not the same as telling them their dog “ran away.” No, the process is a lot more complicated and painful for everyone involved. Because telling your kids that you are getting a divorce can be so painful, you want to make sure that you do it the right way.
At the Women and Children’s Law Center in Oklahoma City, OK, we have family law lawyers dedicated to helping you through your divorce. Though we can offer guidance for the process of your divorce, how you handle your divorce within your family, is up to you.
From this blog, you will learn how to tell your children difficult news pertaining to your divorce.
TELL THEM UPFRONT
Telling the ones you love most that things are about to change can be hard. Not only is the idea of changing your life difficult for you to understand, but it can be devastating to your kids. When telling your children difficult news, it is best to be upfront about what is going on. By being forward about the circumstances of the situation, you will let your children know the severity of the situation. At the same time, they will understand that, as their parent, you trust them with important news.
PLAN IT OUT
You will need to plan out what you are going to say to your kids long before you sit them down. Blurting out devastating news is likely to upset and devastate them. Be sure to bring your kids into a calm setting, such as your living room. The setting of where you tell your child is very important to their reaction and later on reflection on the divorce. For instance, you want to be sure what you say and do when you tell them is loving, supportive, and confident.
ADDRESS THE ENTIRE FAMILY
When telling your kids about your divorce, you need to be sure to tell everyone at once. This means you need to gather all of your children and address them all at the same time. Telling all of your kids at once can give them a feeling of unity and support. Better still, including everyone in the news is very beneficial for everyone and will make your children feel valued.
It is very important to tell your kids about the divorce with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse in the room. Having both parents in the room can reassure your children that the idea to get a divorce is mutual.
BE OPEN TO QUESTIONS
After you initially tell your children about the divorce, you should also leave time for their questions. When people receive big news, children or adults, they will normally have many questions. It is important to respect your child’s questions and curiosity about how their life will change after the divorce. Let them ask their questions and allow both you and your ex to answer them.
Your children’s reactions can range dramatically. But like any devastating news, it can take time before they are comfortable with the idea. When you tell your children, expect a range of reactions. It is important that when you tell them that you expressly tell them that it is not their fault. Children will often feel guilt over their parents’ divorce and carry those feelings to adulthood.
After you have told your children about your divorce, it is highly recommended that they attend therapy counseling to discuss the situation with a professional.
The Women and Children’s Law Center is dedicated to your divorce case. With our divorce lawyers, we may be able to guide you through the divorce process effectively and quickly. The faster you are able to settle your divorce, the faster your family will be able to move on. Contact our family law office today for more information.